I don’t even know y’all.
Those string of five words, unassuming on their own, have had an undeniable ripple effect across platforms and people alike recently as popular singer Doja Cat has come under the public eye for scrutinizing her fans. Following the deactivation of prominent fan accounts, the hurt is undeniably felt within the community. That being said, not everyone is surprised. Already, there have been numerous think pieces on the issue, among the likes, journalists closely analyzing Doja’s complex past relationship with her fans, examining and pointing out the trend that she has had a continuous negative outlook on her supporters. While outside analysis remains an important facet of defacing celebrity issues, the underlying tone among many seems to say: look who you support, how could you be so stupid? She doesn’t respect you. This all begs the question for me, what does it mean to support someone you don’t know? What does it even look like to love them?
Most people enraptured in pop culture could probably tell you that the word “stan” comes from the 2009 Eminem song where he illustrates an obsessive violent admirer named Stan. Since then, the word and action it describes have become increasingly harder to define or even understand. What it means to be a stan has evolved to encompass a myriad of different meanings, often, extremely personal to each fan or fan base respectively. What it means to be a “Swiftie” or an “Army” can vary depending on who you ask. While colloquially, the word has drifted from its violent connotation, a negative aftertaste has ceased to line the mouths of many outside the “internet bubble.” Stan, synonymously means lamb. Fanbases are fortresses of negativity, employing their “stan army” to be the harbingers of hate online. They are borderline pathological mentally ill teenagers, engaged in parasocial relationships of intense delusion with their favorite celebrity, motivated to even commit crimes on their behalf. Or at least this is my exaggeration of those who hold views similar to USA Today.
While nuance and truth can be found within the critique of stan culture, it is important to recognize where the root of this inherent disdain stems from. The idea of a stan is habitually reduced to evoke the image of an uncontrollable overzealous teenage girl, a room covered in posters and diary entries filled with obscene love poems. This widely held and accepted stereotype has continued to plague the general public all the while managing to intertwine misogyny to mangle the perception of stans to be solely feminine and juvenile. Nevertheless, the irony behind this perception is that while fanbases comprised of mainly women are considered gauche, male sports fans are held in high regard.
The cut-off portion of the tweet: Using my dad for example. He’s traveled across the world, multiple times, all to see
But why does decorating K-Pop photocards hold a different meaning than collecting sports trading cards? How is donning with pride an artist’s merch any different than wearing a sports jersey? How is shouting the lyrics of your favorite song different than excitedly celebrating the win of your favorite sports team? While one can recognize the existence of the malign side of stan culture, virtually all internet spaces harbor similar toxicity, yet stans are the ones that take the brunt of the responsibility for fostering negativity. Why is it that people don't feel ashamed to celebrate their passion for sports, even when violence and riots following game results are so common? What sets these two realms apart? What truly differentiates being a fan of an actor or a boy band from a sports team? (Kotschnig)
So let’s realign the conversation, we have already established that within the public consciousness, fanbases composed of mainly women are considered unsophisticated and hysterical. On top of all that, the celebrities they stan don’t always reciprocate a level of understanding. Why do it then? How are stan communities more beneficial than most would believe? This all circles back to my initial question, what does it mean to support or love someone you will never know?
Many psychologists or concerned societal commentators love to throw around the term parasocial relationship to retaliate against a dynamic they don’t seem to understand. In truth, there is always a reality to a critique, however, there are other complexities present and worth exploring. There is much to be said about the desire to feel understood, through music, films, literature, and yes even sports, a framework is created, one in which shared love is the catalyst towards remarkable bonds. A certain passage from a book can speak to someone’s soul, and a scene from a specific movie can bring someone to tears. For as long as media consumption has existed, so too has the idea of a loving relationship being formed as a consequence of the adoration of said piece. So if this can be true, why can’t it also apply to pop culture and celebrities as well?
“You know there’s love you can have for everyone. You can have love for a group of people. You can have love for an idea. And you can have love for a fanbase, and what a fanbase gives to you. And it is different from a romantic love, or a friend love, or a family love, but it is still love. And the world needs more of it.”
The relationships between stans and celebrities are almost always characterized as a one-sided unrequited love or a nuisance to their success. The widespread acceptance of the idea that stans are “just a number” diminishes the opportunity for the genuine human connection that can result from the complexities of said dynamic. Something truly beautiful occurs when that adoration is reciprocated, when a celebrity is just as enamored with their fans and a two-way street of mutual respect can open up. To create art is to vulnerably, and willingly, expose yourself to a sea of ready eyes and ears, opinions and faces, most times, it’s a shot in the dark. It’s crossing your fingers that once you’ve laid out your bones bare on a record, or poured your heart into a script, someone, just one person out there can resonate with that feeling you’ve described. To be a stan is not only to connect and feel in line with that unique artistry but to boldly present yourself in support of what it means to you and others. In my view, one can not exist without the other. It’s a risk to blindly put your faith in someone you don’t know, and it’s equally as jarring to know that out there people love you and your work to an unfathomable degree.
These dynamics facilitate environments not only rich in creative opportunity, self-exploration, and expression but undeniable friendship. Through social media and stan communities, people around the world have established profound relationships with others who share similar affections and interests, myself included. Only just recently had I finally had the opportunity to meet my best friend of three years in person after we initially met over our shared love at the time of Harry Styles. Furthermore, this devotion goes beyond mere pastime; stans also further professions in graphic design or software engineering, passions initially sparked by managing fan accounts.
“What is really important to me is the idea of community and the amount of crossover and genuine real life friendships that have been started through the music and hub of The 1975.” -Matty Healy
In conclusion, Doja Cat may not even know who y’all are, but I believe that stans are a reflection of not only art, but who you are as an artist. There is an indisputable gravity and feeling associated with a group of people who have elected to spend their time supporting you and your work. With time, I am certain, you will come to know who they are, as they have come to know you.